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  • J.A.Willoughby

China Demands More Ring Bologna! Pennsylvania's economy soars.


A variation of fried rice is taking the Asian world by storm and creating a shortage of garlic and plain bologna in local shops here in the US.

"They can't get enough!" says Danville PA native, J.A. Willoughby. "I mean, it was just a lunch experiment for me. I was hungry. I just threw some leftovers together. I never thought it would come this!"

The local author and musician posted a "food porn" photo of his creation on Facebook and it went viral. The dish is made of strips of garlic ring bologna fried in peanut oil along with onions, tossed in with traditionally fried rice and topped with capers, with duck sauce on the side. Sriracha hot sauce and soy can be added at the diner's discretion.

A curious Chinese restaurant owner saw the public post, made the meal, sampled it and loved it. Soon, many more began adding to their menus and post their own images and variations of this "cross-cultural cuisine," as one NYC food critic called it. The trending dish quickly found its way back to the Asian continent on social media, and almost immediately China began importing huge quantities of the Pennsylvania staple meat after seeing how well it fared in America's Chinese restaurants.

"I feel bad for the factory workers who have to work 24/7 to keep up with the demand. But on the other hand, it has created thousands upon thousands of new jobs across the board - from farms to factories," Willoughby said.

The American Medical Association could not be reached for comment on the health implications this strange new dish would have on the 1.4 billion residents in the Far Eastern country.

"If they liked this, I can only imagine what they would think of pierogies or cracklins!" quipped Willoughby.

DISCLAIMER: This post is satire and has no basis in fact except for the meal itself - which was delicious.

You can connect with the author on social media through his website.

DISCLAIMER: This post is satire and has no basis in fact except for the meal itself - which was delicious.

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